i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
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