He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
