Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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