matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
