i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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