That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
