Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize