i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
