So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
