this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
