I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
