he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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