He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize