You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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