this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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