So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.