hotties wanna shake it
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
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You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
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Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.