I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need a beard to bite.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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