Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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