Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
