I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
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