were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
