Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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