On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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