Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
