Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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