Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
