ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
