mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
