Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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