Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
