From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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