Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just found puke in my bra..
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
