I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
