Well apparently he's into motor boating.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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