I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
