How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
It's blow job season.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize