can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
