Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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