So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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