My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Randomize
