Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
