That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He shit in the fireplace
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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