New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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