I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
