More tranny stories later!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
