Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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