I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
