Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
