I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
