I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
