Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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