JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
