Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
