why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
