white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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