there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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