the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
