my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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