Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
