I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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