In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Drunk is a universal language darling
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
