yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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