youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
